From Fan to Follower
Radical, a term used to
describe the outrageous, overcommitted, no balance Christian. But rather Christ
sees them as a wholeheartedly committed follower who has one master and is not on
the fence - serving God and themselves. Matthew 6:24.
Jesus Christ’s life, his message
and invitation have been sieved down to cater to the basic Christian’s ears and
hearts. Preachers preach the message of salvation, but not sacrifice,
prosperity, not suffering, peace, not joy in following. The list goes on.
I’ve been reading a book called ‘not a fan’, which I have bought for my older brother. But before turning it over to him as a gift, I got challenged to read it. Assuming what the contents would contain, it still hit me right between the eyes and straight through the chest.
I’ve been reading a book called ‘not a fan’, which I have bought for my older brother. But before turning it over to him as a gift, I got challenged to read it. Assuming what the contents would contain, it still hit me right between the eyes and straight through the chest.
What has many Christians to this
day become? A fan, not a follower. Yes, I maybe assuming or even judging but
take a step aside and observe your church or the Christians around you. How are
they living?
Luke 9:23, Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be
my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.
I have read and reread this verse a number of times, but never broke it down and studied. Kyle Idleman does so in his ‘not a fan’ book.
I have read and reread this verse a number of times, but never broke it down and studied. Kyle Idleman does so in his ‘not a fan’ book.
As you read
that verse there is a lovely invitation from Jesus to ‘whoever’ wants to be his
disciple. Whoever, anyone can follow Jesus, he has made it open. As John 3:16
says ‘For God so loved the WORLD’. The invitation is open and out there for
whomever wants to know Jesus and follow him. It does not proclaim that Jesus
died for some!
But following
Jesus is no easy task. He calls us to ‘deny ourselves’. To lay our desires,
plans and future at his feet. That is hard, and over the years and even to this
day I have struggled with that, tremendously. My desires are the most prominent
part of my life and have struggled with them and at times given them to God,
but not fully. I have to give my desires over to God each and every day. It’s
hard, but by having the desire to be a follower and not a fan, I can do it.
For many people there may only be one desire holding them back, others more. We all have plans for our lives and Jesus calls us to give them over to him also. Even our relationships. I love my girlfriend and I love the fact that she loves God too. But even giving God that relationship is hard.
For many people there may only be one desire holding them back, others more. We all have plans for our lives and Jesus calls us to give them over to him also. Even our relationships. I love my girlfriend and I love the fact that she loves God too. But even giving God that relationship is hard.
Deny yourself
and take up your cross daily and follow me. What an invitation! Many of us read
the Gospels and understand Jesus’ message of forgiveness, love, grace and
redemption and the call to follow him, but many of us miss this phrase of
denying ourselves.
Imagine being invited to a birthday party. You receive the letter that indicates you have been invited to George Smiths birthday. It reads ‘You, John are invited to celebrate George’s birthday on the… Blah blah blah. But you miss reading the fine print at the bottom which says – as a gift you have to give me (George) all of your possessions. Yes, that sounds quite outrageous, but imagine going along, ringing the door bell and George opens the door and notices you empty handed and asks where all of your possessions are. You stand there bewildered at the question, ask if he is serious, notice he is and then decide to turn your back instead of giving all to him and reaping the joys of a great birthday.
Imagine being invited to a birthday party. You receive the letter that indicates you have been invited to George Smiths birthday. It reads ‘You, John are invited to celebrate George’s birthday on the… Blah blah blah. But you miss reading the fine print at the bottom which says – as a gift you have to give me (George) all of your possessions. Yes, that sounds quite outrageous, but imagine going along, ringing the door bell and George opens the door and notices you empty handed and asks where all of your possessions are. You stand there bewildered at the question, ask if he is serious, notice he is and then decide to turn your back instead of giving all to him and reaping the joys of a great birthday.
That is how
many Christians react when they hear and understand the true invitation Jesus
is laying before us to follow him. Many think they are followers but have not
given all to God.
I have led
many youth lifegroups over the years, studied theology and interned at my
church for a number of years now, but not until a couple of days ago I truly
decided to allow God to have all of my life and to open my ears to what he was truly
asking me to do – to follow him. He has been inviting me to lay all before him,
taking up my cross each day and denying myself.
I would
classify myself of being a hypocrite for the last 22 years of my life. Yes, I
have had a number of ‘God moments’ in my time where God has spoken to me, led
me, uplifted me and showed His grace to me and for a period of time I dedicated
time and efforts to Him. But last Friday was the real eye opener.
God opened my
heart during a movie I was watching called ‘Courageous’ (a Christian movie). The
movie was filled with happiness, death, love, joy, betrayal, forgiveness and
shame. All the themes played on my heart. But what I truly felt was shame, I
was broken, felt utterly sinful, wayward and hypocritical. But this was only
the beginning. I began to read ‘not a fan’ Saturday morning. My life started to
change. I knew I had sin in my life that needed to be eradicated and my desires
given over to God. So I gave them to God.
Desires are
deadly. I hate them. I hate sin. I hate myself.
As God
started working in my life, so did Satan. I knew what God was calling me to do,
but Satan was throwing my desires back in my face. God help me! I made it
through the day, but not the night. I did what God called me to do that day,
but that night I did what Satan was wanting.
I needed to
lay myself at God’s feet again. I did the next morning, ironically it being
Sunday. I went to morning and evening church, still feeling guilty for my
desires and sin. That night I thought I had dealt with my sin and desires, and
given all to God, again. But I was wrong, again. Desires filled my heart and
mind once again. Oh Lord, what do I do? Please take these desires from me!
Once again, Satan won… What a devious serpent he is. The way he leads people astray leaves you thinking ‘how?’ Oh how I hate that creature!
Sin had taken
over again that night. What have I done?! Thoughts of my future sped through my
mind, how will it be affected from here. Oh how I wish I could change what I
have done! Everyone sins, its apart of humanity. But like Paul in Romans
7:15-20 he is struggling with doing the good he ought to do, even though he wants
to do good, sin is right there with him and he falling into it. ‘I do not understand what I do. For what I want to
do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that
the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but
it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me,
that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot
carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil
I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no
longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.’
But, the
grace of God is an amazing thing. He forgave me, again! The thought of God
using my past, my sinful, and shameful past as a testimony for future
opportunities for Christ was alleviating, and joyful, but still, I felt shame.
Will this shame go away? Yes, we will all have regrets, this being one for
myself, but God will use them to strengthen us and I pray that God will, soon.
The morals
which I once lived by, had vanished for a period. What will my family and
friends think? I am a hypocrite! How can I speak to people about God when I
have sinned? Yes, we all sin, but as Christians we are called to flee from it.
But I, I did not for 22 years. Oh how I hate myself and sin.
Will Christians frown upon me? Maybe. But, God has forgiven me. But people will still judge. Oh how life brings victories and tragedies. But God, you are most seen when you work through our tragedies. Oh how I pray you will!
Will Christians frown upon me? Maybe. But, God has forgiven me. But people will still judge. Oh how life brings victories and tragedies. But God, you are most seen when you work through our tragedies. Oh how I pray you will!
I know what
wrong I have done. It is done. I cannot change it. But that what makes us imperfect
humans – our sin.
Oh how I desire to be more like Christ – truly human and divine!
Oh how I desire to be more like Christ – truly human and divine!
God has
forgiven me. I am learning to forgive myself. I hope people will forgive me. Oh
what a life God has now to use. A broken, all for Him life I now give Him. Use
me God, Use me!
I feel I have wronged God, not just by my sin, but by giving Him my life after I have used it for my own desires. To live a life of fun and self-fulfillment. God, you called and invited me earlier, I did accept, but I did not give you my all. I kept apart of my life to myself to gain pleasure. Oh how I wish I gave all to you sooner!
I feel I have wronged God, not just by my sin, but by giving Him my life after I have used it for my own desires. To live a life of fun and self-fulfillment. God, you called and invited me earlier, I did accept, but I did not give you my all. I kept apart of my life to myself to gain pleasure. Oh how I wish I gave all to you sooner!
I am broken, lying
in the dust. But you can restore me your lover, your servant and follower. You
can bring me victory as you brought Jesus to victory.
After 22
years Lord, I now give you all of me, my plans, my desires, my thoughts, my
victories, my failings, my tragedies, my heart, my soul, my mind, my family, my
girlfriend, my study, my life. Past, present and future.
USE ME LORD!
I AM NOW COMPLETLY YOURS!
But why, oh
why have I given myself to God once I have unloved myself, filled with sin and
my selfish desires dealt too? But remember this son, God forgave you so forgive
yourself. You are no greater than God!
But God, I
know you can use me.
I love you
Lord,
Your servant
and follower.